Tremors (1990)

Tremors: “This Valley is Just One Long Smorgasbord.”

In 1990 America, no one could ever have predicted that a movie about subterranean penis monsters would not only attract the acting talents of Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward, but also inspire almost as many sequels as Highlander.

For real, what Freud-obsessed writer decided to create a film franchise featuring the leviathan version of an unsolicited dick pic? At the very least, Darth can cackle at the silver lining of witnessing her male guest-hosts being subjected to a woman’s experience in dating.    The important lesson to glean from Tremors is that it’s completely acceptable to be an idiotic seismologist with zero knowledge of vibration or sound so long as you have stunning blue eyes and refuse to wear a bra. Add some utterly random pole-vaulting skills to that equation, and you just might get Kevin Bacon to cut foot loose.

Side Note: Christian Slater and Kevin Bacon had the same hair dresser in the 90’s. The similarities end there.

On the other side of the spectrum, thank God for legitimately badass women like Reba McEntire. The queen of country music won’t hang up her boobs in times of crisis; Reba will bust out an elephant gun, stuff some pipe bombs, and kick some graboid ass alongside the dad from Family Ties.

As easy as it is to pick on Tremors, the franchise is much beloved. Tremors encapsulates trope monster horror with true 90s nostalgia. In fact, your favorite podcasters suspect that this movie might be where denim was last worn.

Regardless of your feelings about this cult classic, you have to admit that Tremors is nothing if not entertaining. Admit it. When the Corona pandemic broke out, you were kind of hoping for giant worms to battle; at least it would have given us all something to do besides listen to this god-forsaken podcast.

Mr. Brown wears a gas mask in his bunker while new guest Eric contemplates driving to GA for yet another tattoo. We all wear our “quarantine crazy” a bit differently…
Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.